TIPSLIFEHACKS

Dear Abby,

I'm writing to you with a concern about my adult son. Since he started dating his current girlfriend, I've noticed a significant shift in his lifestyle that worries me. He used to be incredibly health-conscious, regularly exercising and eating well. Now, he seems to be letting himself go. His diet has worsened, he's stopped his workout routine, and generally appears less engaged in activities he once enjoyed.

His girlfriend, while lovely, doesn't seem to share his previous healthy habits. She's not particularly interested in fitness or healthy eating, and their lifestyle choices seem to reflect that. I'm concerned that he's being negatively influenced by her, and that he's losing sight of the values and routines that once made him so vibrant and happy.

I want to support my son and his relationship, but I'm also worried about his well-being. I'm unsure whether to say anything about my observations. I don't want to interfere in his relationship or make him feel judged, but I also don't want to stand by and watch him potentially compromise his health and happiness. What's the best way to approach this delicate situation?

Sincerely,

Worried Mother

Abby's Advice:

Dear Worried Mother,

Your concern for your son is understandable, and it's commendable that you want to support him while also ensuring his well-being. It's a tricky situation, navigating the boundaries of a grown child's life and relationship.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that your son is an adult and has the right to make his own choices, even if those choices differ from what you would prefer. However, that doesn't mean you can't express your concerns, but it's crucial to do so in a sensitive and non-judgmental way.

Instead of focusing on his girlfriend's perceived flaws or criticizing their lifestyle choices directly, focus on your son's well-being. Express your concern for *him* specifically. For example, you could say something like, “I’ve noticed you haven’t been working out as much lately, and you seem less energetic. I’m just concerned about your health and happiness.”

Frame your concerns as coming from a place of love and support, not criticism. Avoid statements that sound accusatory or judgmental. Listen to his response without interruption and try to understand his perspective. He may have valid reasons for the changes he's made, or he may be struggling with something you're not aware of.

It's also important to remember that relationships can often bring about changes in individuals. Perhaps he's finding fulfillment in other areas of his life that you're not seeing. However, if you genuinely believe his health is being negatively impacted, it's worth having an open and honest conversation.

Ultimately, the decision of how to proceed is yours. But approaching the situation with empathy, understanding, and a focus on your son's well-being will increase the likelihood of a positive outcome. Respect his choices, but don't hesitate to offer your support and concern when needed.

Sincerely,

Abby